Hopelessly Halloween

As I sit in darkness watching Sleepy Hollow, I realized that I completely forgot to say Happy All Hallows Eve to one and all. Hope everyone had an enjoyable night chanting and calling the corners....was that just me? Oh Okay, ummm.....awkward. "Earth, Air, Fire, Water".

The Simpsons - Hamlet

The Simpsons - Hamlet

One of my favorite Simpsons clips ever. Lisa is too funny. Hey Nonni Nonni!

Look At The Bitch Now

Whitney Houston is now worthy of my attention. Firstly, she has finally gotten the hint after 100 years of marriage that Bobby Brown is bad for her (Christ, monkeys are more clairvoyant than she is....honest to goodness Monkeys), and has filed for divorce. Secondly, she has been receiving drug rehabilitation treatment thanks (allegedly) to Courtney Love and Clive Davis. Thirdly, point one and two have culminated in her looking fabulous at the recent Carousel Of Hope Ball where she accompanied Davis this weekend. Just look at her. Welcome Back Whitney! Now get with the music making.

Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Christina Aguilera - Hurt

Maintenance people, this is a better version than the first time I posted it. Plus it has the intro. Again, Christina helped in directing this gorgeous video.

Cutest Kid Ever!

Madonna shared the following photo of her new adopted son, David Banda with her husband Guy at the taping of The Oprah Winfrey Show yesterday. The episode (which airs this afternoon), features Madonna live Via-satellite from London for a half hour of the show, clearing up rumours and misconceptions about the adoption.

Is that not the cutest picture you've ever seen?

Shut The Fuck Up

barbra streisand, cursing nyc fan

This is only 9 seconds long but it is so worth it. Ms. Streisand telling the heckling fan to "Shut The Fuck Up". Too Funny.

Dreamgirls Print Ads

I still don't know if I will be going to see the Dreamgirls Movie when it comes out because it has three of my mortal enemies in it, Beyonce (who I'm sort of warming up to since I like quite a few tracks off her latest album), Jamie Foxx (who did one good film and won an Oscar for it, that's bullshit), and Eddie Murphy (who I can only enjoy when he's an animated jackass). But just for the fact that it's Dreamgirls....I may have to see it regardless.

These print ads aren't helping though. The only one that looks good to me is the generic one. *SIGH*! I don't know what to do.

Jennifer Garner Is Hot!

Sorry for the rather obvious title to this post, but it's true, she looks amazing. This is a picture of Jenn at the Hollywood Film Festival's 10th Annual Hollywood Awards (Christ, say that 5 times quick). She was on hand to support husband Ben Affleck who won Best Supporting Actor of the Year (what for, I have no idea). I really miss Alias now. (Look at the rock on that ring finger).

Next up for Jenn is the romantic comedy "Catch And Release" with Timothy Olyphant, Kevin Smith and Juliette Lewis. Plus she is also one of many stars to contribute her voice to the live action "Charlotte's Web" film. Both are due for release in 2007.

My, Uncle Sam How You've Changed

Ryan Phillippe, star of the new Clint Eastwood film "Flags Of Our Fathers" and of course best known as Mr. Reese Witherspoon (they really are a gorgeous couple), is gracing the November cover of "greatest magazine of all time" Interview magazine. Does this man ever age? He always looks exactly the same, no younger, no older. He looks great regardless but the cover picture does look a bit like his head was plastered on someone else's body due to the lighting.

This film might be Ryan's "Walk The Line" according to what I've heard so far. I sort of like him now. Just for the fact that when Reese won her Academy Award he was tipsy from drinking with Shirley MacLaine earlier on in the evening. I love shit like that. Who doesn't want to get blatto with Shirley MacLaine?

Madonna On Oprah

Hey Kids! Don't forget to watch or set your vcr/TiVo to record Madonna on Oprah this Wednesday October 25th. She will be discussing the adoption of baby David, and will probably promote the English Roses sequel. Can't wait!

Happy Viewing!

Update: Half of the the show will be intended for Madonna, and the other half will be a featured interview with The Dixie Chicks about their documentary "Shut Up And Sing". I'd be happier if Oprah did a full hour with each of them, but....what can you do?

Robbie Williams - Rudebox

Robbie Williams - Rudebox

Dear Lord! Why do I find this so funny? This is the newest music video from Robbie Williams. Oh Robbie, how could you? I think this might be the most tongue-in-cheek Robbie has ever gone. It's a little over the top (okay, a lot). But I find him cute that way. ;)

Tara's New Music

One of my other favorite Canadian artists (I have about six and I have already established that Emm and Alanis are two of them), Tara MacLean is releasing her third solo album in January 2007. It has been a long time since Tara has released anything on her own, not since 2000's Passenger which spawned the hits "If I Fall" and "Divided" (the first of which is the first song I ever sang in front of a proper audience) has she been in a recording studio by herself. She has been working with her new husband Ted and ex-husband Bill Bell on the production and writing of the new material. I cannot wait for this album, her voice is so pure, crisp and ethereal, she gives me goosebumps, and she is just as amazing live, so I hope this project will include some solo touring.

In the meantime, Tara has once again teamed up with her two best Gal Pals, Kim Stockwood and Damhnait Doyle, to reform the group Shaye, who's second recording entitled "Lake of Fire" will be released November 7th. The titletrack first single is already circulating on Canadian radio. The tracklisting for the album is as follows...

1) I Don't Wanna Die Today
2) Lake Of Fire
3) We Will Not Be Lovers
4) Stay
5) We Are Water
6) This Is The Moment
7) Ocean Of Sorrows
8) Someway Somehow
9) You're Not Alone
10) So Far Gone
11) I Can't Say
12) Star
13) Tupelo Honey

If you are interested in hearing samples of the album you can do so here http://www.shayemusic.com/Juke/index.asp .

NBC Doesn't Live To Tell!

I could not be more upset. NBC has decided not to show Madonna mounted on the mirrored cross donning a crown of thorns during the Live To Tell portion of the Confession's Tour telecast on November 20th. Christian groups in America threatened to boycott one of the major sponsors of the telecast, and so NBC has decided that they will not cut the song from the showing but just edit it so you can only see her from certain angles not including the cross or the crown.

Why bother? We know it's there. It's not blasphemous, and if Christians have a problem with it then hey, here's a thought, don't fuckin' watch it. I'd rather they just cut the song altogether, because that is bullshit.

And as far as the Madonna adoption goes, I find it hysterical that.....

1) it was splashed all over the front page of the Toronto Star newspaper

2) it has been deemed a global controversy

3) People seem to have a problem with the star adopting a one year old from Malawi

Let's break it down shall we? She adopted an orphaned boy from an extremely disadvantaged background and has moved him to live in luxury with her and her loving family. God, the members of the media and of the Malawian adoption services are right, she's a horrible horrible person. The fact that moving the boy so early from his village might be illegal, is ridiculous to me. There is no doubt that Madonna can provide a good life for the kid (Hello!?!), and there are worse crimes to commit, don't you think?

Helena Bonham-Carter Plays Lovett

When I heard the following news report, I lost all hope and faith that the Sweeney Todd movie will be a brilliant extravaganza, like no other film imaginable (Yes, my standards are too high....no wonder I'm single).

Helena Bonham-Carter will be filling the role of Mrs. Lovett in the Dream Works picture based on Stephen Sondheim's genius musical, opposite the irresistible Johnny Depp. Yah, can you see why I was bummed? Not that I hate Helena, but after hearing exciting rumors that Toni Collette was in the running, this announcement just seemed convenient for Burton who has casted his actress/girlfriend in three films in the last 4 years. The woman played an Ape for God sake. Oh well, I've never actually watched any of her films (besides The Corpse Bride, which was animated so I can't get a sense of her acting ability from that), hopefully she is super crazy enough to pull off the part and make me happy.

This news comes along with unsettling rumors that Sacha Baron Cohen (Best known as Ali G.) is being considered for the part of rival barber Signor Pirelli. He completely looks the part, but I hate that Ali G. character so much that he will have to work twice as hard for me to see past that part of his personality.

*closing my eyes* Please be Good! Please Be Good!

Diamonds Are Vicki's Best Friend

I've been taking the easy way out lately by filling my blog with video's (which is awful, fabulous as the video's are) but I've just been busy, well....not busy so much as lazy. This is sad, I've built it up in my mind like thousands of people read this thing. Oh well, best to be positive, and naive. So, here we go with some real news stories. Victoria Beckham is moving up in the fashion world. Not only is she launching her clothing line DVB Fashions in January 2007, but Victoria is now launching her own Jewellery line through jewellery manufacturer Samantha Tiara. The star recently promoted the line in Tokyo.

In other news, Ms Beckham can currently be seen on the cover of Australian Harpers Bazaar (a gold plated cover....super fancy), the official website for DVB Fashions will officially be launched on October 30th to coincide with the release of her book (but you can check out the opening letter from Victoria and a little news piece about the book www.DVBSTYLE.com ), and the second batch of her very successful VB Sunglasses can be pre-ordered from Harrods department store now. The glasses will be ready for January '07.

Kathy Griffin On Jay Leno

kathy griffin late night talk show promoting dvd

"Wasn't she molested when she was ten? ....I've crossed a line." OMG, hilarious. I love Kathy Griffin so much, anything about how fucked up celebrities are is heaven for me. "Pimps Up, Hoes Down!"

Melanie C. On Rove Live

Melanie C interview at Rove (2005)

"Not that I'm a Les or anything." Melanie C on Australian talk show Rove Live.

A Day In The Life Of Alanis Morissette On Jimmy Kimmell

Call Me Mandy!

Jamie Oliver On David Letterman

Jamie Oliver cooking on the David Letterman show

Jamie Oliver being sexy and hilarious on David Letterman. Favorite part = when he calls Paul "Tiger". :)

Natalie Imbruglia - Shiver

Natalie Imbruglia - Shiver

The video for Natalie Imbruglia's single "Shiver" from the album Counting Down The Days. A "criminal on the run" premise, beautifully shot. I'm on a Natalie binge today.

Tom Cruise Is A Butt Plug

I'm not just stating the obvious. Tom Cruise is filing a $50 million lawsuit against sex toy manufacturer Holesome Fun Incorporated over a butt plug which bares his likeness.

The Scientologist who receives regular vitamin K enemas, is reportedly offended by the very idea of a butt plug. Does Xenu not believe in butt plugs? There are far too many ironies in this story for my liking, and to write more than 10 lines about Tom would break my promise with the dark forces so.....

The Shape Of Rudd's Things

I know what I want for Christmas.

This is from the latest issue of Rolling Stone magazine and....yah.

Picture Perfect, But Otherwise....

Wentworth Miller seems to be one of those celebrities that I find absolutely gorgeous when I see them in photographs, but when I seem them acting or in interviews, I don't find them nearly as attractive. I don't really watch Prison Break (which is a shame some people have told me) but whenever I do sneak a glance at the show, he's nowhere near as good looking as these pictures make him out to be. I think his two problem areas are the moving and the talking, without that he's golden.

People have told me he's not supposed to look this good on the show, he's an escaped convict. I say to them, That's No Excuse! Look at Christopher Meloni during his OZ years.....fuckin' hot. So cut the cliche prison bullshit. Murderer's and thieves can be goodlooking. Right Big Boy Caprice? *that's right boss*

I just read this post back to myself and ....I smiled. I like ranting about nonsense. Anywho, enjoy the nice pictures.

Candi And The Backbeat - The World Just Keeps On Turning

Candi and the Backbeat - The World Just Keeps on Turning

Lol. This is just the sort of stupid thing I would do. I decided to look up videos for Candi and the Backbeat on youtube, thinking that nothing would come up, but surprisingly somebody posted their video for "The World Just Keeps On Turning". I decided to post it 1) for the memory value, 2) because it's a campy 1990 classic, and 3) because Candi was the first official artist I saw live in concert back when I was 8 (though I count Paula Abdul as my first concert, just because it was at a bigtime venue and Candi was at a small circle in the round venue at Ontario Place). Anyway, enjoy the nostalgia if you ever listened to this group. Let's see if I can find anything by Lisa Lougheed or The Party lol.

Justin Timberlake - My Love (with annoying album intro)

Justin Timberlake - My Love

I usually try to avoid posting videos that irritate me to no end, however I am adding the new Justin Timberlake video "My Love" to prove a point. 6 minutes and 20 seconds is precisely 3 minutes and 20 seconds too LONG to watch Justin in any kind of performance where he is trying to prove he is black, or perhaps any kind of performance *full stop*.

Emma Comes Dancing

Emma Bunton is currently starring in the BBC television show "Strictly Come Dancing". The competitive dance series which inspired the American version "Dancing With The Stars" teams 14 celebrities, including Emma, up with professionally trained dancers, who are voted off the show by the viewing public. Emma has been teamed up with dancer Darren Bennett. I think she may have an inside edge what with being a popstar and all, but she will have to master many different styles of dance to reach the winning spot.

Good luck to her!

Whitney, Rosie, And Penny On SNL

Whitney Houston - Rapapapa-pum

Thanks to Dean for sending me this. It fully deserves a spot on this site. Penny Marshall, Rosie O'Donnell, and Whitney Houston in the SNL Mary Catherine Gallagher skit. Giddy Up!

Emm Gryner - Beat It (Live)

Emm Gryner - Beat It (live Michael Jackson cover)

Emm Gryner, one of my favorite Canadian artists, performing a cover of Michael Jackson's "Beat It". Both funny and incredible! Look for her new album The Summer Of High Hopes if you haven't picked it up already. Or if you'd like more kick ass cover songs by Emm, you can buy her album Girl Versions.

Alanis Takes A Hiatus

It has just been posted on Alanis Morissette's Myspace, that quote "Alanis will be taking a hiatus and will not be touring or recording anytime soon. She just has a lot of things going on this year with her personal life and wants to take time for herself."

This doesn't sound like good news to me. I guess I will have to watch her appearances on the show Nip/Tuck (despite never having seen an episode), because I simply don't know how long I could go without an Alanis fix.

Thanks to my Brother for bringing this news to my attention, and for the post below.

Alanis Morissette - We're With The Band

Cher & Tina - Shame Shame Shame From The Cher Show

Cher Show - Shame shame shame

This is hot stuff. Two of the greatest women in music, giving it all they got. Fuckin' Awesome.

Babs Kills Two Birds With One Stone

At a recent Madison Square Gardens show on her latest tour, Barbara Streisand bashed George Bush and managed to bash an audience member at the same time. During a segment of the concert, the very liberal Barbara invited to the stage a Bush impersonator and engaged in a political comedy sketch about her distaste for the US jackas.........President. The skit did not go down particularly well with some of the Bush supporters in attendance at the show, including one who continued to heckle the star throughout the unscripted piece. After a few "oh calm downs" to the concert goer, Barbara finally yelled "Why don't you Shut The Fuck Up! If you can't take a joke, why don't you leave and get your money back." The man reportedly got up and left, amid a barrage of cheers. Miss Streisand later apologized for her strong words "I shouldn't have lost it."

So much for Barbara being so plain and boring lately. If you don't find this story funny, you have no soul. By the way, I know how old that picture is, but as I said Barbara has been in her plain jane phase for over a decade now and so there are really no good pictures of her lately (that's my opinion at least, and really...isn't that all that matters?)

John Mayer - Belief Lyrics

Every so often, a song comes along with lyrics that really strike a chord with how I feel about certain issues. The song "Belief" on John Mayers latest album is one of those, and so, here are the lyrics.

Is there anyone who
Ever remembers changing their mind from
The paint on a sign?
Is there anyone who really recalls
Ever breaking rank at all
For something someone yelled real loud one time.

Everyone believes
In how they think it ought to be
Everyone believes
And they're not going easily

Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword
Like punching under water
You never can hit who you're trying for

Some need the exhibition
And some have to know they tried
It's the chemical weapon
For the war that's raging on inside

Everyone believes
From emptiness to everything
Everyone believes
And no one's going quietly

We're never gonna win the world
We're never gonna stop the war
We're never gonna beat this
If belief is what we're fighting for

What puts a hundred thousand children in the sand?
Belief can
Belief can
What puts the folded flag inside his mother's hand?
Belief can
Belief can.

Tyra The Mega Bitch!

Tyra Banks Gone Wild

I don't watch America's Next Top Model (I really should though, and I will start I swear), but I saw a clip of this moment on Entertainment Tonight before it happened, and I nearly died laughing. This is what you get for being a gracious loser. Poor Tiffany, next time you'll know to cry on Tyra's show when you get booted. No other reaction is permitted, now...Cry BITCH!

Ps. Notice how Tyra almost makes this whole thing about her? Too Funny. It's moments like this that make me think twice about hating Tyra lol.

PPS. Favorite Line = "When my Mother yells like this, it's because she loves me." Christ, I'd hate to meet her Mother.

All Saints - Rock Steady

All Saints - Rock Steady

I am pleased to present the new All Saints video, "Rock Steady". They look good, they're robbing banks, and they got whips. What more could I ask for? I'm not sure what part of the heist Natalie and Melanie are filling. I assume Melanie planned it out since she's hiding in an alley, and Natalie is distracting the lawman by bleeding out her eyes.

Fergie / Kirstie

Oh, the comparison game. Let's try putting Meth addict Fergie Ferg next to Chips O'Hoy! and gravy addict Miss Kirstie Alley and see what genetics they share. Here goes....



















See Dean, I told you I wasn't that bad at this game. Yes, I'll admit, that young man standing next to us in line for Sufjan Stevens didn't look like Hilary Duff, but that was clearly an off day. Speaking of Gravy, Happy Thanksgiving to one and all. Awful segue's = something to be thankful for.

I'm Charlotte York, Was There Ever A Doubt In My Mind?

You scored as Charlotte York. You're Charlotte York! You dream of the Cinderella ending, in a package deal with Prince Charming. You've had your ups & downs with men, but you haven't lost hope yet, he's out there. You're stronger than most people think, and you're always there for your friends, even when you're a wreck. You tend to get a little materialistic, but that doesn't stop you from being one of the most down to earth people.

Which of the 4 Sex & the City Gals are YOU?

Sounds nice doesn't it?
created with QuizFarm.com

I Hate.......Wait......AWWWWW!

I never much cared for Josh Hartnett, in fact I think he's a terrible actor who chooses terrible films to make and I hope someday that he and Macy Gray will wind up behind the counter of a Dairy Queen, where they truly deserve to be (but what do you really think?). That being said, this may be the cutest picture I have ever seen of Josh, from the photoshoot for GQ magazine, I think he should have stuck with being a model, he has the odd occurance of being as cute as a bugs ear.

I guess he wasn't that bad in The Virgin Suicides, but that's it. Maybe the Black Dahlia is really good. Christ stop me!

Gypsies, Tramps, and ....Goods

Cher has recently put many of her vintage gowns, flashy Bob Mackie costumes and household furniture up for auction at Sotheby's, raising $3.5 million for various charitable foundations of the stars choosing.

The 60 year old Diva Deluxe sold 700 items at the auction including many of her costumes from The Sonny & Cher Comedy Hour (including the above outfit she wore to perform "Dark Lady" on the 70's variety show), A black 2005 Bentley Continental GT Coupe, and a Gothic revival brass bed circa 1865. Cher decided to sell the items in order to redecorate her Malibu home. She asked that the winning bidders send her pictures of the items in their new homes. Joking "I want to do that to know they're appreciated and cared for, and I can call those people in case I want to buy them back". Indian giver.

In other Cher news, she is reportedly working on a new album (rumored to be rock-oriented) that she hopes to have completed and released in mid 2007. Plus as we all know, she will be taking over for Celine Dion at Ceasars Palace in Las Vegas in 2008 once Celine's contract ends. Finally a reason for me to want to go to Vegas, other than the gambling, sex and booze (all good factors). I've seen Cher thrice in concert (once front row on Halloween night during her farewell tour), and she has a phenomenal show. Just imagine what it will be like when she is situated in one place! OOOOOH child.

Madonna - Jump

Madonna Jump full Video!!

The video for Madonna's new single "Jump". Basically Madonna's very acrobatic dancers jumping all around Tokyo, while Mo spends her time on a soundstage on the junglegym type apparatus she had for the song during the Confessions Tour. This is so much better than the Get Together video.

Happy Endings For Maggie

Maggie Gyllenhaal (one of the most engaging young actresses to grace the big screen in a long while), and her fiance, actor Peter Sarsgaard (same as above could be said about him) welcomed the birth of their first child on Tuesday. Baby girl Ramona (thank God they didn't give her one of those demented names like Demi did her kids), Mom and Dad are all doing fine. That kid could grow up to be one of the greatest actresses alive, unless that kind of thing skips a generation. Biology is fun, isn't it kids?

Daria - A Look Back In Annoyance (Part 2)

Daria: a look back in annoyance pt2 (special Episode)

Part 2 of the Daria "cheap ass clip show." Fantastic.

Daria - A Look Back In Annoyance (Part 1)

Daria 514-Look Back in Annoyance pt1

I have a strange love for the show Daria. Please enjoy this clip. I will add the other parts if I can. Every character is enjoyable in their way. Daria's Dad, Jake is amazingly funny.

Sutton Foster - Show Off

Sutton Foster - Show Off


I had this posted earlier but that clip is no longer available on youtube, and so I've replaced it. Maintenance = good times.

Paul Oakenfold Feat. Brittany Murphy - Faster Kill Pussycat

Paul Oakenfold - Feat Brittany Murphy - Faster Kill Pussycat


Thank God for my cousin Lynn (who happens to be visiting my family and I from Scotland). I had heard that actress Brittany Murphy was working on an album, but I was completely unaware of the fact that she worked with DJ Paul Oakenfold on this track for his latest album, until Lynn played it for me on her phone. This single came out in the spring and (as I've heard) did quite well. My brother knew about this news and neglected to tell me, stating that he thought I knew. I don't think he quite grasps how out of the loop I am. Oh well, have fun watching, it is fascinating.

Sean Hayes & Megan Mullally - Unforgettable

Will & Grace - Unforgettable

Sean and Megan singing Unforgettable in the last episode of Will & Grace. Definitely the greatest moment of the episode. I got teary when they touched stomachs...Am I gay or what? Don't answer that.

Janet Jackson - So Excited

Janet Jackson - So Excited

This video is awesome. It reminds me of the All Night (Don't Stop) video, minus the flashlights. PS. Same story as show off.....Maintenance.

Nice Britches

Justin looking foolish in my uncles britches and suspenders in Bon Magazine. There really is nothing I can say about this picture that would make it any funnier. Just soak it in.